#jc can know that he was in the wrong in how his relationship with his father went down

[mxtxfanatic]

It's interesting how Madam Yu is so adament about Jiang Fengmian hating Jiang Cheng because he's her son, and yet she... Doesn't do that with Jiang Yanli.

Of course, we understand that it's because JYL does not have a lick of her personality, but also. Madam Yu's been saying that since before WWX came to the sect. Probably their entire life.

Do you think she ever said such things to Yanli too, when she was younger? Or did she only start with Jiang Cheng because she barely considered her daughter as her actual kid due to the internalized mysoginy that I feel she's definitely suffering from?

That the only kid that matters is her son, and so she made her son to be (like) her, because I feel like the kids were too young to exhibit such behavior consistently enough for Madam Yu to see that only her son acted like her.

It's a very interesting thing to think about.

Why did Jiang Cheng never realize the dissonance between what Madam Yu said (Jiang Fengmian hates you because you're my son) and how Jiang Yanli was treated by both of her parents, both so different with her than with him? Did he think that JFM hated Yanli too? Or did it just never occur to him because, like to his mother, Yanli didn't ACTUALLY matter as a person?

I feel like this is an entire new can of worm opened here. So much to think about.

Idk, I think Madam Yu just dissociated from Jiang Yanli because from the moment her daughter was born, she was "someone else's wife." No need to live vicariously through a kid that's gonna eventually end up in someone else's household. Instead, she spends the few times we see her intact with Jiang Yanli admonishing the poor girl for acting "beneath" her station (interacting nicely with Wei Wuxian). Jiang Cheng is the child who will eventually inherit the Jiang Clan. Better to sink her claws into him so that her influence on the Jiang Clan is unshakable.

I don't think Jiang Cheng thinks Jiang Fengmian hates Jiang Yanli, but he realizes that Jiang Yanli has a better personality than him and his personality is why he doesn't get along with their dad. But also like, Jiang Cheng's logic around Jiang Fengmian's parentage is that as his actual children, they deserve his love and affections exclusively. Jiang Yanli is Jiang Fengmian's daughter, so she deserves to have a good relationship with him, meanwhile he is robbed of the affection that is "rightfully" his "because Wei Wuxian, the outsider's child, robs it from him." In the end, Jiang Cheng is truly his mother's child: he knows the reason why things are the way that they are, but to accept it means that he has to accept that he is at fault for the consequences he has reaped. He doesn't want to acknowledge his responsibility in his own failed relationships, so he believes in the lie that paints him as a victim to others' scheming.

[raayllum]

thinking about how the white streak his corrupted self has in 6x05 is different than the one Callum ends up with. The one in 7x05 seems to be modelled more after what he would've heard Ezran describe or be prone to picture on Claudia:

If you love them... Rayla, Ezran, all of them, you'll do anything to save them. Even if you have to sacrifice your sense of right and wrong. If you love her, you'll be the you who can save her.

And to Callum, this means sacrificing a form of his relationship with Rayla ("I can't. Don't you get it? Rayla loves me, this version of me. She believes in me") and by proxy a life together by sacrificing himself, and doing it alone; lifting the burden off her shoulders by getting Runaan to do it instead. What he found instead was a Rayla willing to work to save his life (her initial protests) and to trust and work in tandem with him: even in this, he wasn't alone, even if it would hurt both of them so incredibly much ("we will..."). He can do this, and she can know he would do this, and he's still and will always be Her Heart.

However, the second significant harm was witnessed and Callum needed help, Rayla abandoned Runaan's bow and ran to him, despite the fact the spell or conflict wasn't resolved or over.

Ezran even recognizes how: "We were ready to sacrifice it all. Everything. You and me, Callum, Rayla... we almost gave up everything we are." (And I'll have a more in depth meta about Callum and whether that's true / his sense of identity as of S7 once I've processed more of it, because jc.) And what he received on the other side of it was veritable proof that they are together in all things (even if it wasn't in the way we quite expected), that she trusts him unconditionally and will always have his back, and that he doesn't have to worry about becoming someone she doesn't love or recognize, because that's not possible.

She loves every part of him, even the part(s) he hates and has grown to accept will always be a permanent part of him.

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Feb 5th

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1. hi there! i remember reading this fic ages ago and i can't seem to find it again - lwj has dreams/nightmares about falling. one scene i remember clearly is lwj waking up from a falling nightmare, stumbles and wwx catches him and holds him. i think they were in an inn? it's either canon or post-canon. it would be awesome if you could locate this - i've looked through the various requests others have sent it for hc/touch-starved/nightmares but couldn't locate this particular fic.

FOUND? Bitter Plants Bearing Sweet Fruit by Kryal (M, 83k, WangXian, graphic depictions of violence, canon-typical horror elements, Worldbuilding, Desert, Misuse of Historic Setting, Original Character Death(s), Case Fic, aftermath of canon, ridiculously long author notes, Established Relationship, Nothing Explicit But Shameless Innuendo) It's in a later scene, but Lan Zhan kinda sleeps walks into WWX after his nightmare

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2. hello! looking for a canon divergence fic, set during the sunshot campaign. what i remember is a scene where jc whips wwx with zidian. wwx collapses (having no golden core). lwj, who already knows that wwx has no core, intervenes and brings wwx to the medical tent. if i'm not wrong, there were two versions of the chapter in the medical tent, with a version that's with more jc bashing? I think it's a pretty long read. thank you! @potatokunst

ah this is right thank you thank you! the other version of that scene is in another story in the same series :)

FOUND! these colours fade for you only by doodlebutt (T, 36k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everybody Lives, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, …eventually, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, bed sharing, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Sunshot Campaign) features Lan Zhan knowing about Wei Ying's missing core, Jiang Chen whipping Wei Ying with Zidian, causing him to collapse, and Lan Zhan rushing in to help him. I don't remember there being two versions of Wei Ying's treatment, though it's been a while since I read it.

as love and its decisive pain by doodlebutt (T, 1k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, alternate ending for chapter 8 of these colours fade for you only, canon-typical violence and injuries, Angst) (the other version if anyone is curious)

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3. Hello again!! This time I’m look for help finding two stories! A) was a 3 chaptered ao3 WIP with inventor Wei Wuxian who made (among other stuff) a spiritual hairpin for jyl, it worked with her pacifist cultivation and slowed or paralyzed fierce corpses… and B) an au that was maybe on tumblr where the empress/empress dowager showed up for wwx because his father was a hidden prince?? I don’t know how much of the story was part of the au and how much I daydreamed so I don’t have more details… @pinsluke

3A)

FOUND! Here Again (Spirits Rise, Unbroken) by TheDefenestrator (T, 74k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Slow Burn, Happy Ending) which is two chapters and a time travel, but definitely has inventor wwx with jyl has a pacifist/tranquility hairpin!

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4. HELP…

I read a fic cannot find WWX is working in an office LAN something and he brings A-Yuan to work still a baby and usually he sleeps in one of the drawers of the file cabinete, LWJ comes in and sees the baby and asks to what WWX says something about he’s, filled correctly , LWJ takes the baby and LQ and LHuan buy all kinds of designer clothing and on their way to the baby furniture store @bkpmystinen

FOUND? Threadfic by 0Pink_Blossoms0

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5. Can you help me find this fanfiction? I’ve never actually read it before but the summary was something about how WWX was forced to marry LWJ after the archery competition when he removed LWJ’s forehead ribbon, and then years later after an unhappy marriage, he finally calls HC and LBH for help. I think HC and LBH are his sworn brothers in this fic, also. @sagegreencomforter

FOUND? The Wrong Choice by XunMichoco (Not Rated, 32k, WangXian, XiCheng, XuanLi, BingQiu, HuaLian, ZhuiLing, LQ/YQ, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, YZY is nice here, JFM being best dad, best sis JYL, JC is protective, Dark LWJ, WWX wants LWJ dead, mentions of xy, Sworn Brothers, Mpreg, YQ respect, SS is nice here, Forced Marriage, LXC is Suffering, From Nightmares)

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6. I have two fics I'm trying to find again. I read them a while ago, so I'm only putting details I'm sure of.

A) Lan Wangji is travelling and comes across a little lost paper man. He finds the silent paper man very endearing and with a lot of personality. They learn to communicate as they travel, and Lan Wangji grows attached. The paper man is obvs Wei Wuxian.

B) a Cloud Recesses fic, based on The Untamed. A Caught At The Cold Pond and Now Arranged To Marry fic. Wangxian are sent to a cabin and isolated there for a little while. I remember one scene where Wei Wuxian is trying to draw and keeps moving Lan Wangji further out of the way because he's mad at him and it makes Lan Wangji cry. There was also a puppy involved and Lan Wangji helping Wei Wuxian participate safely in the puppy's life. There was also something about the house they're in being alive? I think maybe also a winter storm and a dragon.

Anything you can do will be greatly appreciated. You guys do great work. Thank you! 🙏 @feralplantwife

6A)

FOUND! a paper friend by soft_wanning (G, 4k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Paperman WWX, Identity Porn, Meet-Cute, Different First Meeting)

6B)

FOUND! Headband Wedding Bootcamp by gwynseren (M, 50k, WangXian, Accidental Marriage, Misunderstandings, Some Humor)

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7. I hope I'm doing this right, I've never sent in an ask before. Also don't know if what I wrote is appropriate.

There was this one fic, I think it was post-Sunshot campaign, where the abuse Wei Wuxian experienced under Madam Yu was exposed to the cultivation world. The details I remember are that the cultivators thought Jiang Cheng was continuing this abuse and even going further with sexually assaulting Wei Wuxian. The rumors/misunderstanding got to be so bad that Junior Lan Disciples actually stepped in to get Wei Wuxian away from Jiang Cheng after they witnessed a confrontation between the two and Wei Wuxian flinched or backed away from Jiang Cheng.

That's all I can really remember. I don't remember if it was a one-shot, part of a one-shot collection, or an unfinished fic. @freestrawberrynight

FOUND? 🔒chapter 15 of Vrishchika's Short Prompts

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8. for the fic finder! its a time travel fic where wwx falls off the cliff and finds himself in the past then raises his child self as if he were his father, been looking for a while but i just can’t find it myself 😭 @thwispsings

FOUND? In Another Life by SingingInTheRaiin (M, 21k, WangXian, Time Travel, but not the usual way, LWJ is smitten, WWX is a dumbass, LXC knows what's up, Portugese Translation Available)

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9. I’m not sure if it was Wattpad or Ao3 but I remember a scene where Wei wuxian is being stalked by a shadow/ mysterious figure but as the story goes on it turns out it was Lan Wangji from a different universe or time line that lost his Wei Ying so he decided to try to take this Wei wuxian. I think he was also getting memories or visions from far into the future and starts making references from the 20s century. I don’t remember if it was a time travel fic or a MDZS react fic.

FOUND?🔒我拿青春赌明天 / I’ll wager my youth against tomorrow by tombenough_and_continent (T, 37k, WangXian, Science Fiction, Historical, Time Travel, Enemies to Lovers)

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10. Hii, for fic finder. I've been looking in my bookmarks for a while but can't find it smh :( all I remember was Madam Yu hits a yuan with zidian

FOUND? Consequences by Remma3760 (Not Rated, 58k, WangXian, XiSu, XuanLi, Canonical Child Abuse, Abusive YZY, Good Uncle LQR, WWX is a Lan, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Bad Parents JFM and YZY) the whipping happens in chapter 25

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11. For a Fic Finder - I'm looking for a fic that i thought i had bookmarked. As usual, i can't find it, and don't recall the title.

It's set after Wei Ying loses his core, etc. The three siblings are back at Lotus Pier. Wei Ying is pretty drunk all the tome. So Yanli and Jiang Cheng write to Lan Zhan & adk him to take WY to Gusu to heal or detox. WY isn't happy but he goes. Then evades LZ's efforts to cleanse the resentment. One day he's in the back meadow & meets a tiny toddler Jingyi who is upset, i forget why. They make friends. There is a mystery about an array that kept Madam Lan stuck in her house (in the story it's not the Jingshi). I think WY figures out that her essence is still trapped. The boys end up freeing her, she borrow's WY's body long enough to talk to LZ. Turns out she's a Heavenly Official and LZ and Lan Xuchen are demigods. Before she leaves, she gived WY a part of her strong goldrn core. At the end of the fic, they confess, and the guys adopt little Jingyi, and obviously live happily ever after.

Any help tracking thid down is so much appreciated!

NOT FOUND! Practical Considerations by teawater, the_anthropologist (E, 97k, WangXian, JC & WWX, LXC & WWX, LQR & WWX, Arranged Marriage, Canon Divergence, Found Family, Spouses to Lovers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Politics, Scheming, Lán Elders are assholes, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, eventually BAMF LXC, learning to make decisions, Learning Self-worth, Self-Esteem Issues, Sweet Wangxian, Domestic Fluff, Fix-It, JC is a big asshole, he improves somewhat but it’s open-ended, WWX learns to stand up for himself, Quote: Come Back to Gusu With Me, POV wwx, POV LWJ, POV JC, Golden Core Reveal, Teacher wwx, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Alcohol as a Coping Mechanism, Past Suicidal Thoughts, Post-Sunshot Campaign, WWX Protection Squad, Feelings Realization, WWX protector of the twin jades, Protective LWJ, Protective WWX, Protective LQR, Demonic Cultivator WWX, WWX is Loved, Married WangXian, Genius WWX, Everybody Lives)

FOUND! if i had the strength by agloeian (M, 16k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Fix-It, somewhat of a case fic, Heaven Official's Blessing inspired gods & ghosts, Mild Alcohol Abuse, (see WWX's canonical coping mechanisms), Mental Health Issues, WWX is not in a great place for a lot of this fic, He Gets Better Though!, this fic is all about learning to give yourself the help you give others tbh, Baby LJY, recovery fic, Accidental Baby Acquisition)

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12. I remember starting a fic where LWJ stabbed himself and WWX through with Bichen before the 33 Lan elders could get to them and now I can't find it anymore. I pretty sure it was some type of time travel fix-it and I think LWJ apologized to Bichen for using it to hurt WWX or smth. If you could somehow find it I would be eternally greatful ♡

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13. I apologize if I have already sent this ask, I cannot remember.

For fic finder, I’m hunting down a fic that didn’t say it took place in Sacramento CA but almost certainly did. I remember almost nothing else about it other than the Jiangs live in the Bay Area, lwj lives in a town that “people don’t usually move to” and wwx moves to the area and lwj shows him around to things like apple hill or the costume mansion. This is like. A super specific and weird request but iykyk

Thank

FOUND? so hot you're hurting my feelings by isabilightwood (E, 40k, WangXian, JYL/WQ, Modern, Oblivious LWJ, Didn't Know They Were Dating, no moms were harmed in the making of this fic, mama lan took LQR in the divorce, LWJ Has Friends, all WWX characterization decisions were made to make LWJ pine harder for his own boyfriend, Fluff, Eventual Smut, Bottom LWJ, Halloween, WWX's birthday, Sub LWJ, Light Dom/sub, Spanking)

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14. Hi, I'm looking for a fanfic about Dragãoji and Foxxian where they were in a marriage contract because Foxxian was fertile. I only read the synopsis where Jiang Cheng said: if you marry him they will give us an army. Now I feel like reading it but I lost it. @quwieiidkd

FOUND? heavy is the crown by sweetlolixo (E, 58k, WangXian, High Fantasy, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX, Romance, Dubious Consent, Warrior LWJ, Pregnant WWX, Language Barrier, Size Kink, Dark Royalty, Game of Thrones!Drogo/Daenerys Premise, Eventual Happy Ending, Breeding Kink, Arranged Marriage, Everyone Falls In Love With WWX At First Sight, Rape/Non-con Elements)

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15. Hi, I have a request for Ficfinder. I read a story awhile ago. I don't remeber much of it, just one scene where both Ln Zhan and Jiang Cheng were making soup for Wei Wuxian. Both were sure they were making his favourite, Jiang Cheng was making the lotus root and pork rib soup while Lan Zhan was making egg drop soup.

This was after the Burial Mounds, so Wei Wuxian had stopped eating meat. i think it was all about which one knew him best? Not really sure. Any help finding this story would be much appreciated. Thanks. @remma3760

FOUND! Where the Winds of Change Blow by merakily (G, 17k, WangXian, Angst and Humor, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core, Family Bonding, Flashbacks)

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16. Hi I'm looking for a fic that I found through here lol. It's cssr & wcz survive but are very injured, wy is in a coma for a bit. They get to Lotus Pier to recover and it was a longer fic. That's all I remember 😅

FOUND? Building a home by R95irth (T, 586k, WCZ/CS, JFM/YZY, WangXian, JC/WQ, JYL/JZX, 3zun, BSSR/LY, MS/Sisi, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Everyone Lives, Angst with a Happy Ending, Horror, Nightmares, Canon-Typical Violence, Complete list of ships in the serie summary, Family Fluff, Found Family, Babies, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, but not done by the Lotus Pier squad, Also JGS exists so canon related things linked to him, Same goes for Lan parents)

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17. Hi I was looking for these two very specific fanfics that I think I read on Wattpad years ago!

A) The First one is like: (Alternative AU) Wei wuxian and Jiang chang go to this school together and they like each other but the other person does not know they like each other and then Wei wuxian meets the principle's son lan zhan and they fall in love but Jiang chang is still in love with Wei wuxian and the story continues. 

B) The second one is like: Wei wuxian time travels back to his past after he falls down the cliff and then tries to harm himself to stop the future from hapenning but his loved him stop him and the story continues.  (like angsty at first and then turns to comfort - also I remember Jiang chang after knowing the truth becomes super protective of Wei wuxian in this story)

I honestly appreciate all your help - I have been trying to find them for ages but they seem to have disappeared :(

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18. hi!! for the next fic, would would you mind finding this one fic of an alternate universe, modern setting? In this fic, Wei Ying was a single adopted parent to A-Yuan I think, and he takes A-Yuan to a hockey camp where there is a guest coach who turns out to be Lan Wangji. Wei Ying and Lan Wangji used to play hockey together in college or something but Wei Ying had to drop out to help out Wen Qing and raise A-Yuan and disappeared for a few years. Anyway that is most of what I remember for this fic but it was super cute and I really want to reread it. I’ve tried every tag I can think of but I just can’t find it. Looking forward to hearing back from you if you can find it!! Thanks! @roundhen

FOUND?🔒Never Have To Ask by literaryoblivion (T, 14k, WangXian, Modern AU, Hockey, Kid Fic, Mentioned JYL, Mentioned JC, Fluff and Angst, Single Parent WWX, NHL Player LWJ, POV WWX, Past Character Death, Minor Character Death, Mentioned WQ, Car Accidents, Pining, Love Confessions, Friends to Lovers, Reunions, Mentioned Junior Ensemble, First Kiss, Requited Unrequited Love, Requited Love, Flashbacks)

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19. Hi so I was trying to find a fic that I listened to a few months ago I have no idea where it is right now because I did not add it or bookmarked it so it's a podfic. I know it is it's modern setting with magic wwx is a demonic cultivator and lwj is a cultivator they work together or something and they were like on a case about a haunting of the some house and wwx get injured or something or he performed empathy and lwj is so worried so he takes him home to wwx's apartment and the apartment building is where the wen lives and he sees them talks to them for a bit and then went to wwx's apartment turns out wwx apartment is haunted but the ghost is just like harmless or something I remember one Pacific scene where lwj is laying down on the bed and the ghost is right above him and then wwx wakes up and says to the ghost "knock it off"or something along those lines that's all I remember @constancebloodstone

FOUND? when I look over my shoulder by cafecliche (T, 10k, WangXian, Modern AU, exorcist LWJ, medium wwx, vague The Conjuring AU, some horror elements, Pre-Relationship, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort)

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20. Hello! First, great work. Now, I'm looking for a fic where LZ is de-aged by a deity during a nigh hunt close to the burial mounds and this results in the truth about WY being revealed and he gets his core back thanks to the deity too. I think LXC and NMJ are there too. Thanks in advance. @multitudeofmes

FOUND! A Child’s Wish by Hauntcats (Not rated, 13k, WangXian, WWX & Wen remnants, Celestial meddling, Not JC Friendly, Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone gets what they deserve, Age Regression/De-Aging, Child LWJ)

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[romana-after-dark]

Our Gentle Sins: Part 4 (Formerly Be Quiet)

Dark!Logan Howlett x fem!reader

My god this header is ass but I was an emo kid what can I say

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Series summary: As the only human teacher at the mutant school, you're nervous. When you meet Logan, you have a past he doesn't know, and you know nothing of his. Circumstances say he needs to stay away from you, but one day he can't help himself and forces you down, getting you pregnant. Through the past and present, we learn how you and Logan's relationship grew, and we learn the consequences of what he's done.

Chapter summary: Past. Logan tries to help break you out. Present. Remy offers Logan his words

Warnings: This fic features non con, pregnancy, and themes of religous trauma. I will not be saying everything that happens to warm you, by clicking read more you are prepared for extremely dark themes and that you at 18+. You are responsible for your own media consumption.

2.2 words

AN: Not a super eventful chapter, but I feel sometimes it's nice to have a breather, lot us get to know our characters, digest it all, you know?

Past

“I dunno, Logan…” You are nervous entering the mall, walking close to Logan. People give you a wide birth when you’re with him, and you have no idea why. You’ve noticed it at the school too. Sometimes people go out of their way to avoid you and Logan in halls, and it baffles you. Logan is the sweetest, nicest man you know, except for Remy of course. That’s why you were even here in the mall, walking past a Victoria's secret store that made you blush. Logan complimented a dress you wore, and proceeded to say you have a lot of nice dresses, you tell him that all you have are dresses. After giving a whole bit about your family and husband believing pants were for men only, Logan insisted on taking you to the mall and buying you your first pair.

Yes, you left the church, yes you disassociated from IBLP, but letting go of everything was not as simple as people thought it was. You still believed in God, and you didn’t think your husband had the right to do what he did to you, but what about the in between? Still, Logan wanted to spend time with you. You were okay with that.

“C’mon. It’s just a pair of jeans.” He guides you into a JC Penny. “Do you know your size?” You shake your head. “That’s fine. Jeans can be a shit show anyway. Different stores just kinda make up their own shit.”

“No? I got jeans plenty for my brothers, it’s pretty standard.” But you hear Logan chuckle.

“For men, yeah, women no. Different story. Here.” He hands you a pair. “Start here.”

You hated it. Stalling, you talk to him where he stands outside the room. “How do you know so much about women's clothing?” You can hear him laugh again.

“I’ve been around a time or two, baby doll.”

You were sure he had. 200 years, he’d problem been stuck with on more than one shopping trip. But you had a problem. Logan had given you skinny jeans, and it was… bad.

“You good in there? Too small?”

That wasn’t the problem. The jeans fit the way they were intended too, hugging every bit of your skin and showing off the shape. This was too much. The voice of your mother rang in your ear, you were being vein, showing off your body, inviting men to-

“Can I try something else?” You’re voice cracked at the end before you could stop it.

He was suddenly right at the door. “You alright there Dolly?”

A steadying breath. He was doing something nice for you, be a big girl about it. Your dad doesn’t get to control you anymore. 

“Can I maybe try something… baggier? It’s just….”

“It’s a lot just starting, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“Got it.”

After a minute, he’s handing you jeans under the door. These ones were better, but the fact it wasn’t a skirt… it felt wrong. It felt bad.

“Yeah, these are better.”

“Can I see?”

You supposed you had to. Logan drove you out here, was buying the jeans, had been so kind to you lately… you owed him, didn’t you?

Slowly, you open the door. Logan had a little smile on his face, eyes looking down at your legs and you wanted to throw up. You didn’t want to be perceived like this. It’s crazy, you know he knows you have legs, so what’s the big deal? Logan certainly doesn’t care, most people don’t care… why do you?

“You look- hey, what’s going on?”

Only then do you realize the tears burning in your eyes.

“Shit,” You quickly try to get it together, to not make a scene, to be better and just be fucking normal, but then he reaches for you, and you can’t help give into him

*

He wasn’t sure if hugging you was a good idea. He knew you were stiff with touch, even Remy had commented to him you are avoidant, and you spent most of your free time with him, although Remy insists it’s just as friends. Still, you looked so… upset. He couldn’t bare it, he couldn’t stand the thought of such sweet girl being so sad. 

Hugging you, he asks about it. “Is it the jeans?” He feels you nod against his chest. “It was too soon, wasn’t it?”

You nod again. 

Of course, he should have known. Logan wasn’t a fucking idiot. He’d lived in the world long before women regularly wore pants, he’d been alive and watching the news when things like these fringe religious groups rose up even if he didn’t pay much attention. Still, you left. You left your husband, which is an brave choice to make when you were raised the way you were. Did you believe these things still? Had he pushed you too far?

If you were still married, and hadn’t gotten divorced… did you even want one? Marriage after a divorce to many religions was adultery… There was so much about you he didn’t know, so many questions he wasn’t sure he was going to get the answer too… he thought he was content with this just being your friend, but now that he held you in his arms….

Logan knew it wasn’t the right time. He knew you were upset. He’d control himself, he could… But then you pulled away, looking up at him with those big wet eyes and he was cooked. You looked so needy, so sad, so vulnerable… he wanted to protect you, to destroy everyone that made such a precious thing so anxious that putting on jeans made her cry. He’d get his vengeance.

But first, he needed you.

When he kissed you, there was a moment where it was okay, where the memories of pasts pains faded around the LED lights and electricity thrummed through the metal inside his body because you leaned into him, you kissed him, back. You kissed him and everything was right and good and beautiful and the world smelled like strawberry shampoo.

And then you stumbled away. And then you looked scared. And then you shut the dressing room door, locking him out.

And it took 20 minutes to coax you out again, not a single word was spoken on the ride home.

After

“You need to go to the doctor, Dolly.”

But you tried to ignore him, You were running late to teach, and you weren’t letting Logan get in the way more than he had. You were still telling yourself you could get an abortion, that Remy would probably take you. He’d ask questions but when you say you don’t wanna talk about it, he’d let it go. 

Logan, on the other hand, was following you like a lost puppy. It was becoming insufferable and terrifying all at once. Logan had the power, that if he wanted to rape you again he could take you anywhere, any time. He could end your pregnancy and knock you up all over again, he could end your life in seconds. But that’s not why you couldn’t look him in the eye.

You hated him, but you hated that you missed him.

You missed the way he’d eat lunch with you, the way he’d been helping you disentangle your beliefs. After the mall incident, he’d taken it slower. There were many long nights when both of you were too torn up over your nightmares that you just sat up and talked, talked, talked. Logan had seen a lot of religious movements come and go and shift, and although he was not religious himself he had done as he’d always done. Obsesserved. 

Logan made for a good person to work through things. He didn’t tell you what to believe; he had no skin in that game. Instead, he occasionally gave perspective, but mostly it was questions.

‘Do you feel good when you do that?’

‘Do you think he said that because he believed it, or because he wanted to control you.’

‘Was your mom just as brainwashed? Was she the problem?’

All this helped you move through things more and more. He made you fall in love, quickly at first that day you met him, and then slowly all over again as you got to know him.

And then he destroyed all the trusted you’ve built up.

You hated that you still wished you could talk like you used to. You hated that you got wet. You hated that you missed him walking you to your room. You hated that while he touched you, you were close to coming and you wanted it. You hated that you missed the smell of his cigar and leather and bike fumes. 

You hated that, after he was done betraying you, in the disgust you felt and sickness that wracked your body all you wanted was to be held, so you let him. You rested your head on his chest. You pushed your body back into his. You let him whisper the words in your ear as you cried from his own actions.

Comforting you and breaking your all at once.

“I know how you feel about doctors-”

You whirl around to face him outside your classroom door. It was decorated in a rainbow main from linking lines o paper together, the background of construction paper panting a picture of green fields. It’d taken you and Remy and Logan a few hours on a Saturday to get it done.  “You don’t know a thing, Logan!” You whisper shout, trying to look calm for the remaining students scrambling to class. 

His voice was irritatingly calm. “I do, Dolly, I know why you don’t like hospitals and don’t trust doctors-”

“But you don’t!” A little louder, and someone looks at you. You lower your voice, glaring at him. “You can’t possibly understand. Just because I told you, doesn’t mean you get it. It wasn’t you that got beat, it wasn’t you that lost the one thing you wanted more than anything, and it wasn’t you that was betrayed by everyone who is supposed to love or protect you, Logan. You can never understand what happened and you can never understand what you did to me. So please, pl-e-ase-” Your voice breaks hard, and you’re forced to hunch over as you clutch at your heart in pain. “Just leave me alone!”

When all he did was blink at you, sad eyes and mouth slightly open, you took your opportunity and joined your class, attempting to brush off the pain as you apologize for being late.

*

“I don’t know how you managed to fuck this up, but it can be unfucked.” Remy’s accent echoed in the halls as the last door shuts. 

Logan rolled his eyes. “You following her?”

“No more than you, cher.”

Ignoring him, Logan begins walking. As much as he wanted to follow you into the classroom, make a scene, beg for forgiveness or force your mouth to his or whatever the fuck it took for you to realize you and him were meant for each other, that it was inevitable, he wouldn’t. You loved your job, you loved those snot nosed kids, and he wouldn’t do that to you. What he needed to do was find a way for you to go to a hospital. Logan understood the pain there, how badly you’d been failed the last time you were there, but he couldn’t let that affect the baby growing inside you. You wanted this child and so did he, and if something went wrong again you’d never forgive yourself

Unfortunetly for Logan, Remy was following him.

“Got a crush on me or something?”

Ever gleeful, Remy quips back, “Not particularly, but I’d be an idiot to say no if you are offering.”

“I’m not.”

“Logan.” His voice is more series this time. “Logan!”

He turns around, impatient face at his… what is Remy? Not a friend, but not not a friend? “Just say what you wanna say, cajun, for sucks sake.”

Remy’s face softened. “She loves you, Logan. I might be biased because I’ve been pushing her to you since day one, but she does. I’m not gonna ask what this is about… but she’s sweet. She’s forgiving. She believes in eternal salvation and forgiveness and the God of second chances, and all the sweeter sides of the shit she grew up in. She’ll forgive you too, just keep trying. Little things like flowers, her favorite foods, things that show you know her, they go a long way.”

There was a pause of silence as Logan took in Remy’s words. He should be more concerned that Remy was this aware. He told charles he’d stay away from you… and yet, here he was. Still, it was Remy, your best friend. If anyone knew anything, it was him, and clearly he didn’t know everything.

“Why do you care?”

“You make each other happy, cher.” He said honestly. “And I like seeing both of you happy. Right now, she isn’t happy. I want to fix that.”

Logan could fix that. He could make you happy. He could make you happier than you ever thought… he just needed a second chance.

As you can see, I decided to change the name!!!! I thought Our Gentle Sins fit way better, a call to the hozier song take me to church which heads the playlist!

As always, if you have songs you think match the vibes, lmk and ill add to the playlist!!

Thank you for allll your support!!!! You are all v wonderful

Please stay safe if you are in the hurricanes path, and remember as you watch the destruction, project 2025 wants to cut aid funding. Consider making a donation to aid groups, and remember that during the next US election.

Let me know your thoughts on the story below!!!

Comments mean the world!

@multiversed-daydreamer @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @del-ightfulling @miraclesabound @hindi-si-ikay @samsamsantos @madamerubrum @shybluebirdninja a @hornystan @rogueinmymind @accountforreading123 @yawnetu @princessanglophile @and-claudia

[amorremanet]

For Fandom confession ask game: I think jiang cheng loved Wei wuxian in a more than brotherly or platonic way but didn't have the emotional knowledge to recognize it and that's why it hurt him so bad when Wei wuxian defected from the jiang sect and later went off lan wangji because Wei wuxian was supposed to be his person and he left him behind

Y E A H

YEAH

And this isn't even me being amatonormative about it, because it doesn't even have to be romantic or sexual to be an intensity that is beyond what is typical of siblings or best friends or sworn confidantes. I posted once about how Jiang Cheng embodies Jo March's reaction to John Brooke asking to court Meg in Little Women:

“Of course not. It would be idiotic! I knew there was mischief brewing. I felt it, and now it’s worse than I imagined. I just wish I could marry Meg myself, and keep her safe in the family.“

IF ONLY HE COULD MARRY WEI WUXIAN HIMSELF AND KEEP HIM SAFE IN THE FAMILY!!

Of course, if you are interpreting this in a romantic/sexual context, there is SO MUCH to unpack there, especially re: his resentment towards Wangji, and it is outrageous to me that it's not one of the top Jiang Cheng ships.

[cyren-myadd]

James Cameron has written Neytiri and Spider's relationship before...

Recently I went on a kick of rewatching old sci-fi movies, including the James Cameron ones of course, and I noticed an interesting little pattern in JC's storytelling:

In Terminator 2 we have our protagonist Sarah Connor. In the first movie she was almost killed by the first terminator, so in the second movie, when she meets the new terminator, she's understandably distrustful of it even though her son, John, trusts it. However, the new terminator proves itself to be loyal to John, so she realizes she doesn't have to be distrustful and even comes to rely on it in the end.

Then in Alien 2 we have Ellen Ripley. In the first movie, Ripley was almost killed because of the android Rook, so in the second movie, when she meets a new android, Bishop, she's understandably distrustful of him even though the other human characters trust him. Just like the new terminator, Bishop proves himself to be loyal, and Ripley realizes she can trust him and they become friends by the end (and stay friends for the rest of their lives because I like to pretend Alien 3 didn't happen 😭)

Now we have the Avatar sequels and Neytiri. In the first Avatar, Neytiri was almost killed by Quaritch, so in the second movie, when she's around his son, she's extremely distrustful even though her family members trust Spider... hmm I wonder how James Cameron is going to resolve that conflict? 🤔

Obviously, Neytiri/Spider's relationship is more complicated and ugly than Ripley/Bishop and Sarah Connor/the second Terminator, but the story beats are still lining up the same. We don't know the conclusion to Neytiri and Spider's relationship conflict just yet, but looking at James Cameron's other works, I think he may be setting up to follow the same pattern as Alien 2 and Terminator 2.

Having a main protagonist realize she was wrong about someone and change her views on them is a story beat James Cameron seems to enjoy writing, and it's one that works really well. Giving a character flaws and having them grow and change is what creates compelling character arcs!

Avatar co-writer Amanda Silver even commented on the narrative purpose of Neytiri disliking Spider in an interview: "Neytiri is a fully fleshed-out character. She’s got flaws. So it’s okay to let her have flaws, we think. And that’s where Jim was coming from."

All this is to say that no, we are not going to see Neytiri murder Spider in Avatar 3 like many young fans hope, that would be a horribly depressing conclusion for her character arc; to never be challenged on her biases and never have to reflect on her views and grow. I for one am really excited to see how James Cameron and co resolve their conflict since their relationship has a lot more bad blood than the other two examples did!

[hannigramislife]

I just encountered a person comparing Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli, saying how Jiang Cheng got his parents' worst attributes and Jiang Yanli got the best, and after a whole lot of bullshit I'm not gonna repeat, another really tried to erase Jiang Cheng's sacrifice by saying he didn't distract the Wens in the book, but lost his golden core for revenge.

I think this has been a little eye-opening for me, as to why people hate Jiang Cheng and why they can't stand to see the good in him.

Because to see the good in him, is to acknowledge that he is not the man they make him out to be, which, obvious so far. But to really see the good in him, is also to see the hurt in him. To see the suffering that their image of "cold, cruel jc" can't allow.

And to see the suffering means to acknowledge the ways his family - all of his family - failed him.

His father failed him completely, and I don't even have to elaborate. His mother failed him by always putting him on the spot, straining his relationship with his brother, not supporting him in learning for the sake of the leader he was going to be, but out of spite to her husband. Wei Wuxian failed him post-war, because he pulled away from Jiang Cheng completely, causing the chain of events to lead to what it did.

This is not taking into account the emotional toll and influence that Wei Wuxian's presence had his entire life, since they met, because most of that wasn't on Wei Wuxian, but only the fact that Jiang Cheng was given the tall order to rebuild Lotus Pier and take care of his sect, and Wei Wuxian made that all the much harder, and then he left of course.

Jiang Yanli also failed him, and this might be controversial, but this is my opinion as an older sibling myself. The fact that we don't have a single scene where she's offering him support exclusively, without Wei Wuxian in the picture, can be attributed (maybe) to the fact that the story is from Wei Wuxian's pov, but I still think that Jiang Yanli was wrong to go to that battlefield, defenseless, because what happened? She died in Jiang Cheng's arms, leaving him with the added trauma, as well as an infant child to care for.

I realize this is all from a particular point of view, and not taking into account the reasons others did what they did. I know they have their reasons. And they are always allowed those reasons, they justify their actions.

Why isn't Jiang Cheng, who was the youngest of the Jiang family, a boy who had to become a man so his people could rely on him, a boy so traumatized by what happened, what he witnessed, what he went through—

Why is he not allowed his reasons? His grief? Why was he not allowed ignorance?

[letteredlettered]

Stupid ways CQL changed the story from MDZS:

First on most people's list is gonna be the gay, and I agree on a political and societal level that this is an egregious change I can't get on board with. I will say though that on a personal preference level, I don't think the romance really adds much; the magic of this story is not the gay and I'm just as happy with WWX/LWJ have the intense, weird, unstated relationship they have in the drama as I am with the ultimately gay relationship they have in the book.

The Yin Iron plot in the drama is so bad, you guys. So bad. This includes a) there being multiple parts of the Yin Iron, b) WRH having some of it and creating puppets with it, c) LWJ/WWX going to search for it. Did they add this so WWX looks less terrible? So it looks like all he's doing is fighting fire with fire? I hate it. There was a knife fight, and WWX invented guns. That's literally the point of him; that's why he's terrifying; he invented something that was beyond his means to control and it got out of hand and everyone wanted the gun and there was only one. The plot in the drama is just SO STUPID. I like WWX and LWJ getting to bond when they search for it and the trip to the bunny cave, but you could really have them bond and get bunnies a different way.

The most egregious thing, imo, is how the Wen remnants are first portrayed in the drama. After the Wen Clan is defeated we see constant abuse of these prisoners, often pretty much in front of everyone's face. At one point they are even paraded in front of everyone and WWX is the only one who has a problem with it. I get that WWX is the hero, but it makes everyone else look super morally reprehensible. Like, how are we supposed to get behind LWJ if he can stomach that. Actually, forget LWJ, because I actually think the scene in the rain with the umbrella establishes that LWJ is simply unwilling to defy social convention/popular opinion, and while I think it is a slight twist on LWJ's character, it's not a big of one as you might suppose, given the novel. But Lan Xichen? The character who is supposed to be the absolute paragon of kindness, goodness, and compassion? It's always sat wrong with me. Anyway, the novel basically shows that the poor treatment of the Wens is mostly hidden from view of the public, and WWX only finds out because WQ goes to him for help.

Replacing NMJ's dismembered arm with an angry sword spirit was super confusing. Why does the sword spirit attack people's arms, and why does it ONLY do that at Mo Manor? It's stupid and confusing. I assume this was censorship as well? Unwilling to show some dismembered corpses?

Speaking on NMJ, the character is pointless in the drama. I think you really needed to show the way he helped and trusted Meng Yao and how utterly betrayed by Meng Yao NMJ was to really understand his character.

Speaking of which, it is so completely ludicrous that the Wen Clan attacks the Unclean Realm before the Wen Sect Training/Tortoise of Slaughter sequence. It does say in the book that the Wen Clan and Nie Clan are kind of in constant skirmishes, but that's why the Wen Clan heavily attacks Cloud Recess first and then goes for Lotus Pier; the point is that the Unclean Realm is too well defended. That said--I still find it outrageous that in the book everyone (except WWX, perpetually clueless) seems to know about the attack on Cloud Recesses but sends their children to the Wen Clan anyway. Like I get they're all intimidated but that is too much.

WWX falling off the cliff. So silly. LWJ never would have allowed that to happen. What was JC even doing? That said, the actual death in the book is so unclear; I get that it was the spiritual rebound, but what was JC doing then? What did it look like? I found it really weird how the book just did not illustrate a few very key climactic plot points.

Weirdly, JFM. I actually like the guy better in the drama, but that's a problem. He really is a terrible father to JC, and his terribleness really helps explain why JC is like he is.

[sonik-kun]

Reminder that WWX did use a homophobic slur (cutsleeve) before he found out he was, in fact, a "cutsleeve" himself.

I'd also argue that him taking advantage of MXY's body and the rumours associated with him by acting as a "stereotypical gay" to get out of situations was a form of homophobia in itself.

He assumed this was how crazy, gay people act - like sexual deviants. He used that stereotype on top of the rumours about MXY just to get out of sticky situations and avoid being captured.

Whilst this isn't aggressive homophobia, nor would I consider him a raging homophobe myself, he still took advantage of the world view he was raised in, which, in modern terms, was problematic in itself.

Think the harmful, stereotypical, predatory gay trope in anime that a lot of anime fans have taken issue with. That's the stereotype WWX was trying to perpetuate and brush off as a silly joke which is bordering that harmful stereotype territory mentioned above. And yet I don't see the moral "holier than thou" crowd talking about that in their analysis on "fictional characters in an ancient Chinese setting."

(Note before I get jumped on: I don't think WWX was being cruel or malicious when he did this. Nor do I think he purposely intended to sully poor MXY's image further. And I ofc don't think that WWX is a terrible person for doing so either. The guy was desperate and needed to pull tricks to avoid capture. But that still doesn't make things right by modern standards. Even if said stereotype was used to goad a load of "homophobes." Would also like to add that even after coming out, WWX didn't really challenge the societal standard or think ill of anyone who thought like that. It's not like he toured the CW with LWJ, promoting gay rights. He'd be very extraordinary for doing that and brave, too. But he didn't. Instead, he just got up to sexy times with his husband daily and lazed about living the good life. Which is valid of him, tbh, giving the shit he went through. But my point still stands. The social norm persists.)

Also, bare in mind, WWX was heavily in denial about his own sexuality at first and struggled to come to terms with it in the beginning due to the societal norms back then, anyway.

Homophobia was the norm. Stop denying that when you know most of the characters found it bizarre.

By their standards being gay was, unfortunate as it is, unusual and to them, perhaps even immoral in its own right.

By modern standards, we know now that it is wrong. And the moral consensus is that being gay is normal and should not be vilified (even then, not all cultures today have reached that consensus and LGBT rights still have a long way to go).

With this in mind and the notion of what morality meant to people back then, you mustn't hold the characters to modern standards because that was simply the world view. What was "right" back then.

You cannot say with certainty that you wouldn't be homophobic back then, in a world where people called it strange and immoral. As much as I'd like to believe that I would be one of the few who find it wrong to treat gay people poorly, most of us probably would find homosexuality strange because that was the moral consensus of that time. As such, it is unfair to hold characters like JC, JL, and JGY to modern standards for that reason. That's the point we've all been trying to make here.

(Even then, JC and JL both watched as WWX left with his hubby into the sunset and didn't speak illy of their relationship again, nor consider them social outcasts like the Jins and Mos treated MXY. It's almost as if people can change their world views entirely (or to some extent) after things become normalised. Hmm. 🧐

Furthermore, MXTX herself said that JC wasn't a bad person. She wouldn't say that if he's the "aggressive homophobe, incapable of change" like you all seem to imply he is.)

You all make this point about historical context when us JC fans criticise WWX for his clear breach of bodily autonomy with the core transfer and his own war crimes. You should apply that logic to the period typical homophobia too. Because as I have said before, you cannot say for certain that the characters would be homophobic had this taken place in a society where being gay was the norm whilst homophobia was frowned upon. Let's use some logic and context when talking about characters from an ancient time period, shall we?

[winepresswrath]

hi! i always love your MDZS/CQL takes; can i ask what are the questions you think CQL is asking, as compared to MDZS?

I haven't actually revisited either canon in ages, which is making me nervous. what questions the novel is interested in can be pretty contentious all on its own! @mikkeneko has an excellent answer in the notes here which I reccomend to everyone. My own thoughts are honestly pretty scattered- I keep on deleting things and going hm, that's not quite right.

So, for the obvious-to-me example, people reasonably zero in on the creation of innocent doctors/radish farmers who Wen Ruohan is holding hostage. In CQL it's easy to infer that Wen Qing and Wen Ning are maybe the only cultivators and almost certainly the only combatants among the Wen remnants, and their status is much more ambiguous in the novel, which I personally think is asking, essentially, "and so what? were they wrong to run, when they had a chance? Do they deserve what Jin Guangshan will do to them if they go back? Aren't they just people, actually?" Whereas the question that CQL is asking is more to the effect of "What does Wen Qing owe these people, when she is their only defence? What is she entitled to do to save them, at other people's expense? If she fucks up that moral calculus, what then? Does it matter if she's personally fond of some of the outsiders who are going to get hurt? If one of them saved her brother? Later, this question will flip to what Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, and the parallel to Jiang Cheng's situation in particular is, I think, genuinely pretty fun. You're giving up the Wen as soldiers who've laid down their arms in exchange for Wen Qing also grappling with leadership and the question of how many horrors she can stand to look the other way on to protect her own people. one reason I keep deleting so much is that a lot cql's changes were motivated at least in part by censorship, which I think we mostly share a general and justified distaste for! but I also think that within the bounds of that censorship the creative team put a lot of work into actually doing something interesting with those changes. Or, for another example- nieyao! There's a much greater emphasis on the nmj-jgy relationship, it's unambiguously very close and they are clearly extremely important to one another, and I think that's because the cql team has a lot to say about love, trust, power, and the ways those things interact, and that reflects back on all of the other relationships in play, including Wangxian. Almost every time, when CQL chooses change a relationship they make the characters in question closer- that's true for Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji, for Wen Qing and the Yunmeng contingent, for Zixuan and Mianmian, and Huaisang and Meng Yao. It's even true for Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, who have a close and trusting relationship in first life! CQL puts a much greater emphasis on "all right, so you care, what next?" How do you choose someone and then choose to be good to them? What if there's a massive power disparity between you? What if you seriously disagree about your priorities and morals? How do you trust someone who's betrayed you? When is it a stupid choice to trust at all? How do you have faith that you know someone well enough for that trust to be meaningful?

for legal reasons i would like to specify that it's not that mdzs isn't interested in these problems. i do remember wangxian's literal trust fall. cql is asking these questions all the time about everyone. also for legal purposes i'm not suggesting that cql lwj and jc love each other. but! they establish a three month wartime partnership looking for wwx and then jc immediately drops him on wwx's say-so despite apparently having a positive enough opinion of him to tell wwx he thinks they should make up twice. lan wangji will later tell wwx he thinks he should loop jc in on the second flautist! these are people trying to navigate some kind of relationship/shared interest/community, as opposed to a hateful void. cql wants to say hey, how do you go about this? while I'm here and rambling cql also puts a lot of emphasis on wwx's connection to yunmeng and changes things up so instead of feeling alienated right before he leaves our last glimpse of him there is happily picking lotuses and playing with a kid! in both stories the narrative is asking who do you protect? who do you leave behind? can you ever get it back? but the angles are very different.

[add1ctedt0you]

What's your version of Jiang Cheng Gives Up? *chinhands*

Hiii! My version of jc gives up is very boring: he gives up on wwx and their shared past and moves on.

An overexposure to yunmeng bros reconciliations has brought me to one conclusion: I don't necessarily need them to reconcile. (Not because: 'jc/wwx is so toxic!' or 'jc/wwx deserves better than that selfish asshole!'. Like, I always roll my eyes. They are two horrible human - fictional- beings who deserve each other!).

But imo, post-canon jc has two priorities:

Jin ling

Himself

First point: he needs to be there for jl. Not only politically! But emotionally too. jl is going through a rough time jc too experienced: a loved ones betrayal. jc knows what it does to you. And listen, one of the things I love about jc is how he is trying his best. Always. In particular when it comes to people he loves. ('but he did a lot of things wrong', thank fuck! He is a traumatized character who behaves like a traumatized character. This scene explains so much about jc imo: jc knows that not having an adult in your life who believes in you is shit. So he tries to give space - in his way- to jl, while fighting his urge to protect him, because the last time every one of his family member was on a battlefield, they died.) So yeah, he is going to try being there for jl, in his imperfect way. And that brings me to point two.

jc has to recalibrate himself, to be there for jl: what he thought were truths, are revealed to be lies. All his life was a lie.

That's my favorite jc's speech. It's visceral, it's painfully honest. He is literally saying to us his state of mind: he is feeling guilty, wronged and confused.

'who am I?' hits hard, because who you are when you have built your life on lies?! Should he feel guilty?! wwx has made this huge sacrifice for him, but he has hurt him too: what should he feel?!

So, because I interpret jc as someone who overthinks, I want him to lose his mind over his doubts and start a journey of healing (or, what realistically someone without therapy can manage).

I want him to look at Lotus Pier, his home, and think: 'dang, what I have managed is incredible'. I what him to realize: 'what wwx made for me was an huge sacrifice, but my feelings are valid too'. I want him to be, not happy, but satisfied, when thinking about his life. And I don't need him and wwx to reconcile, because I like the bittersweet taste their broken relationship leaves in his mouth.

So, my jc gives up is: he learns to live with himself and jl, peacefully.

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Oct 25th

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1. Hi. I’m looking for a fic and I don’t have a ton to go on, so here’s hoping someone knows which fic! I’m looking for a canon divergence, possibly a fix it or time travel fix it. It’s NOT the dynasty fic where WWX is WRH nephew and he disappears from the lectures. The specific scene I have in my mind is WWX avoiding the arriving sects at night less city, no one knows he’s been with the dafan wen or I guess where he had been. I know it makes a point to stress he’s dressed with care and in robes that are much nicer than he ever had with the jiang, I know they are using wen yuan to distract him bc he’s nervous about madam yu and the jiang arriving, I know wen Qing gives him an aggressive supportive pep talk in an inner courtyard while he basically is sitting there catastrophising. I can’t remember who is meant to be the wen sect leader, whether it’s wen Qing, wen Ning, or popo or maybe WWX?? I don’t think HE is the sect leader. LWJ might know he’s there and anticipating the sects arriving as well because he’s nervous how people will react seeing him there. I can’t remember if when Qing and wen Ning are time travelers. It’s KILLING MEEEE. I’ve been hunting thru my bookmarks and all the tags I can think of and I’m not finding anything. I know it’s complete and most likely over 20k words. (I’m wondering now if it’s that one he uses a talisman to make a lightning trap to save dafan village from a legendary beast??? And there’s flooding?? And LWJ and JWY happen upon him afterwards Idk I could be wrong) @takemitchyleaps

FOUND? We'll Build A Dynasty (one the heavens can't shake) by One_eyed_God (T, 66k, WangXian, canon typical Jiang family dynamics, BAMF WWX, Canon JC Characteristics, POV Outsider, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship, WWX is a Wen, Sect Leader WWX, Genius WWX, The Casual Intimacy of Hand-Holding, Minor XuanLi, Not JC Friendly, Time Travel Fix-It)

FOUND? Cultivating immortality by KizuKatana (E, 231k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Mutual Pining, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, unreliable narrator, Found Family, First Time, novel canon relationship dynamics) Is this the one mentioned in #1 parentheses

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2. Hello ! I was searching for a fanfiction where WWX was under Lwj care who spanked him and punished him but also took care of him . It comes in series... Lwj master in CR. In one series LWj beat Wwx so much that he himself got punishment in ancestral hall. I remember reading it a few years back but can't find it now

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3. Hii!!! Can you help me find a fic where wwx dies in guanyin temple and promise lwj that he will return. Then wwx is reborn in the modern world where he is a scientist and a politician son. He sometimes remember lwj through dreams. He also has a girl best friend who helps him. Later he makes a machine to return to lwj in cloud recess and they reunite.

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4. Hello! i'm not entirely sure if i've mashed two together in my head or if it really is just one fic but here it goes: Lan zhan and wei ying are neighbors. a-yuan is wei ying's son, lan zhan works with a class of students on music cultivation. wei ying and a-yuan are actually hiding out from the wen's and the culminating scene has a-yuan possessed and needing to be cleansed and lan zhan and his students helping. I believe it was a multi chapter fic too. thank you so much!!

FOUND? Hear a song this deeply by so_shhy (T, 87k, WangXian, Modern Cultivation, Kind of academia AU, Music, Kid Fic, Canon-Typical Violence, Action/Adventure, To An Extent, canon-typical JGY behaviour, Original Character(s), Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, we love us some tragic backstory, Happy Ending, for wangxian at least, [slaps fic] this baby can fit so much plot in it)

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5. Hello, I'm looking for a fic I've read before. Wei ying is at the lectures in CR and sees that Lan Zhan receives presents from people but rejects them. He was befriending him and thinks that lan zhan won't reject his present ..so he gives him a jade pendant. But lan zhan crushes it and WY gets mad about it and starts to avoid lz.

It was completed and I think just one chapter. Thanks in advance @smarti1997

FOUND? For you by 10thNoNamePerson (T, 16k, WangXian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Canon Divergence, No War AU, Teen Wangxian, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Jealous WWX, Soft WangXian, No Sunshot Campaign)

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6. good day! so i was reading this wangxian dimension travel fic and i suddenly remember that one story; a student from modern world lost her way in the forest and kinda met wwx who just became yiling patriarch. i think her name is lily? or something close to that name. i know that i bookmarked it before and i dont know why but i cant find it (not sure if im using the correct tags or what) pls help me find it. thank you for ur help! 💙

additional info:: i think her bag is color yellow? she also went with wy to kill wen chao and thats how jc and lz met her. theres also a scene where she stopped wy during "the soup" encounter with jzx and she got hurt. @httpskaixx

hello! actually, the "i told u when i came i was a stranger" was the story i was reading when i submitted my ask. i followed the note and search it with "isekai" tag and i found it!! the story i was looking for is "wait a minute!" thankyou so much!

NOT FOUND! i told you when i came i was a stranger by Caramelized (M, 50k, OFC/LXC, minor WangXian, Isekai, Transmigration, Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Amateur cartography, Butterfly Effect, Sunshot Campaign, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, No Golden Core Transfer, Dimension Travel, Politics, LXC the politician, Self-Insert, Foreknowledge, Angst with a Happy Ending) If not, the requester might want to search "isekai" for The Untamed or Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù on AO3.

FOUND! Wait a minute! by Anonymous (T, 45k, WangXian, World Travel, Dimension Travel, Canon Divergence, Transmigration, Crack Treated Seriously, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fluff and Angst, Attempt at Humor, I've Been Told That OC has Kagome From Inuyasha Vibes, Isekai)

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7. JGY kills nie huasaing and delivers his saber to NMJ which reveals what actually happened to him so now Wei Ying, with the help of Lan Zhan, must resurrect NHS (at NMJ’s “request”) wen Ning style before NMJ kills like everyone. I’ve been looking on AO3 but the fic might have been on tumblr or cross posted. @i-cant-think-of-one-meh

FOUND? Digging Graves by nirejseki (Not rated, 13k, NHS & NMJ, WWX & XY, wangxian, Revenge, Broken Moral System, Non-Graphic Violence, the masterless sabers)

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8. Hi! I'm looking for a fic where Wei Ying is an ex-model who had an iconic magazine photoshoot (inspired by Burt Reynolds apparently), and a younger Lan Zhan is a big fan of him. Lan Zhan encounters him on a coffee run and they get together. I vaguely remember Wei Ying shouting that he's a cougar. I guess the title is along the lines of "came for the coffee" but I'm not sure anymore since I really can't find it. Thank you so much!

FOUND? 8 Is "Came for the coffee, stayed for the wet dream". It's one of Pancho's hidden works, but it is available on wayback machine

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9. Hi I’m looking for a fic that might have been deleted but I’m really hoping I’m just missing it. It was a one shot on the longer side, ABO dynamics, where LWJ turns WWX into an omega when they end up quarantining together over the pandemic. It used to come up pretty high when I sorted by kudos, so hopefully someone’s heard of it :( thank you so much!

FOUND! the twisting of secondary genders by HeavenlySkyfarer (E, 7k, WangXian, Modern, A/B/O, Non-Consensual Secondary Gender Modification, Extremely Dubious Consent, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Forced Heat, Baby Trapping, Questionable Use of The Quarantine As A Plot-Device For Questionable Porn, Dark LWJ)

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10. hii!! i've been looking for this specific fic thats on ao3 for a while.. the jist is lan zhan and wei ying are living together post-canon as a happy couple until they go night hunting together to figure out this pattern of suicides in a town or something? they don't really find much and head back home but it turns out lan zhan has gotten cursed and is now slowly declining mental health wise-- he pulls away from wei ying (to which wei ying is very sad about) and eventually tries to leave on bichen in the middle of night to go commit suicide, but wei ying catches him, realizes he's cursed, and helps him and then yay happy ending? thank you! @hyperizzation

FOUND! What lies beneath the bones series by seachronicles (E, 104k, WangXian, LSZ & LWJ, LXC & LWJ, LQR & LWJ, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Trauma Recovery, Rape Recovery, PTSD, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Disordered Eating, Survivor Guilt, Grief/Mourning, Canon Divergence, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Suicide Attempt, Implied/Referenced Sex, Hurt LWJ, LWJ Needs a Hug, LWJ Whump, POV LWJ, Character Study, LWJ is Not Okay, Mental Health Issues, Post-Canon, Sad LWJ, Depressed LWJ, Self-Esteem Issues, Canonical Character Death, LWJ-centric, Touch-Starved LWJ, Case Fic, Night Hunt, Ghosts, Curses, Suicide, conversations about suicide, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Child Abuse, only referenced, WWX Takes Care of LWJ, Soft WWX, Hurt WWX, but differently, Guilt, WWX gives him the hug, POV WWX, Self-Harm, nothing too graphic, Established Relationship, Mystery, Hair Washing, Wound Tending, WWX is So Whipped, wangxian literally live their cottagecore dream, WangXian in Love, Secrets, LWJ has a secret, Vulnerability, Drunk LWJ, Protective WWX, Miscommunication, Soft LWJ, Eating Disorders, Suicidal Thoughts, Recovery, LWJ needs therapy, he gets that therapy, LXC Tries, LQR Being an Asshole, Dad LWJ, Chronic Pain, Dissociation, LWJ Has OCD, Sex between Wangxian, Dubious Consent, because they don't know how to communicate, They Learn, Happy consensual sex, Mild Smut, Eventual Smut, Aftercare, Fluff and Smut)

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11. Searching really hard for a fic where wwx adopts a-yuan without telling anyone but lwj thinks a-yuan is wwx's bf, so when wwx finally asks him out and kisses him , lwj refuses and tells he never knew wwx was the kind of guy to cheat. He apologizes to wwx later when a-yuan visits him in university, I think. @maskdmafia

FOUND?🔒 breathe in the air, the last of its kind by wereworm (T, 27k, WangXian, Modern, assumed cheating, Miscommunication, gc transfer modernised as hand-wavey illness (referenced/implied), 5+1 Things)

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12. I read a fanfic awhile back where child Lan Zhan meets child Wei Ying while Wei Ying is still on the streets as an orphan. Lan Zhan gives him something, I can’t remember if it’s a toy or food. Then for the following years Lan Zhan spends time trying to find Wei Ying to check up on him using musical cultivation. There’s a woman who he calls to find him, one day she does find him. I believe it’s around the time Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng arrive at the cloud recesses.

I also think, and I might be combining two different fics here but hopefully I’m not, but the following plot is them falling in love while Wei Ying comes to term with the horrific and graphic abuse that Yu Ziyuan put him and other servants through and they end up investigating, finding proof, and she faces punishment. Pretty sure it’s an A/B/O fanfic where Yu Ziyuan forces Wei Ying to hide he’s an omega(?) for some reason. I think a chastity belt is involved that Yu Ziyuan put Wei Ying in. Jiang Cheng’s father resigns as sect leader when her crimes come to light.

Any help would be greatly appreciated, this has been a thorn in my side for the past few weeks. @staykookedsuga

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13. Hello! I have an ask for the fic-finder 😅

It's been a long time since I read this one, so it's an older fic (at least more than 3-4 years ago). It was centred around MDZS as a story with Jiang Wanyin as the MC and YLZ as the villain. Our main characters had a whole fandom around it, where LWJ is a famous author and WWX a not-very-popular artist who drew fanart of the most hated character in the book "Yiling Laozu" (I think he was an artist, could also be a fellow writer).

I remember there was lot of fandom discourse about WWX and his choice of character to support and how YLZ was always jealous of JWY and did actually maliciously cause everything he was accused of in this alternate MDZS canon. Then, suddenly, LWJ + WWX end up pairing up for a fandom event (a big bang or smth similar), and WWX has the idea of a story where canon divergence occurs and YLZ is a good person instead (like actual canon) and LWJ agrees to write for it.

This was as far as I had read for it. From I remember it was a WIP. Thanks <3 @indelibleme

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14. Hello :) I could use your help to find a fic: Modern AU, LWJ is an epidemiologist, at the start LWJ finds A-Yuan alone at a train station and waits with him until WWX shows up, WWX and A-Yuan move in with LWJ, A-Yuan locks himself in the bathroom and LWJ kicks the door in to get him out, WWX reenters Uni to finish a degree, LWJ sort of punishes him so he concentrates on work?, LWJ starts the process of adopting A-Yuan, WWX and LWJ confess in the bathroom during a family party. Thank you so much! @die-or-worse-be-expelled

FOUND? 🔒 Lost Boys by raitala (E, 115k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX, LSZ & LWJ, Modern, Kid Fic, Gen or Pre-Slash, hints of wangxian, finding your found family, A-Yuan is a sweetie, Emotional Baggage, LWJ is on the Asexuality Spectrum, Neurodivergent LWJ, Hurt/Comfort, sugar daddy LWJ, LSZ is the bestest boi, LWJ is trying his best, WWX needs a hug, background societal homophobia, Grief/Mourning, Under-negotiated Kink, Dom/sub Undertones, Mild Painplay, Sharing a Bed, Family Feels, Nice LQR, Adoption, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Spit Kink, Slow Burn)

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15. Heyy. Just wanna start of by saying your account is an absolute life saver. Thank you so much for the hard work you guys put into getting fanfiction.

I need help finding a fic: Jiang Cheng, blaming Wei WuXian for soemthing he did (can't remember), finds a magical array to erase Wei WuXian from this world. Only to find out they loose the Sunshot Campaign without Wei WuXian and his demonic cultivation so he works together with Lan Wangji to bring him back and save everyone in this universe.

There's alot of angst and family bonding as well as feels. I remember that the heirs of the great sects were taken prisoner in the world Wei WuXian was erased and that's when Jiang Cheng wants to solve his mistake.

FOUND? The Way It Wasn’t by KouriArashi (T, 72k, WangXian, XiYao, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It, (eventually haha), Slow Build, Family Feels, Moral Ambiguity, Eventual Happy Ending)

FOUND? Not This Time by Marinelifeclub (M, 93k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, Angst, Dark LWJ, Protective LWJ, YLLZ WWX, Resentful WWX, Established Relationship, POV Alternating, Sunshot Campaign, Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Minor XuanLi, not for jc fans, eventual 3zun, Kid Fic)

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16. Hi! I’d love your help in looking for a fic on AO3. I can’t remember if it was a long one-shot or a series, but here are plot points I do recall:

- Lan Wangji stays behind at Yiling with Wei Wuxian

- the Lans don’t hear from him for a long time, until people report sightings of him in Yiling

- Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren take a few other Lan disciples with them to investigate

- They almost don’t recognize Lan Zhan because he looks different - he is happy. He now wears a painted symbol of a cloud on his forehead, and allows the village children to braid his hair with beads. He is considered pretty, and either a deity/god or just someone special by the villagers.

I hope this rings a bell, I’ve been trying to find it for ages and I’ve had no luck! @ogfangirl93

FOUND!🔒Unpack Your Heart by Terri Botta (Isilwath) (T, 22k, wangxian, Romance, Everybody Lives, Canon Divergence, LWJ Has Feelings, Protective LWJ, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, Burial Mounds Ensemble as Family, Wangxian in Love, YLLZ WWX, Lan Clan Elders are Assholes, Minor Transgender Character, Qiongqi Path Divergence, LWJ loves his bunnies)

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17. Hello! I’m looking for a fic, I can’t remember a lot of it and some of the plot points might be off but here’s what I remember; WWX dies but is approached by the previous wielder of the sword that was in the xuanwu of slaughter’s cave and they say smth I forgot and then wwx is back in the past and he can wield said sword and then I can’t remember anything else. Thanks for the help!

FOUND? Did I Not Explain Why the Sunset Turns Red? by 3988Akasha (E, 110k, wangxian, time travel, canon divergence, Canonical Character Death, Soulmates, Demonic Cultivation, Original Female Character(s), Emotional Constipation, Minor Character Death, Hand Jobs, Sexual Content, Bathing/Washing, Idiots in Love, Poetry, Mild Gore, Anal Sex, Angst, Rimming, Blow Jobs)

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18. Hello! For Fic Finder, please! I am looking for a canon au where some people were shapeshifters and during the Sunshot Campaign Wen Ruohan was poisoning the shapeshifters and forcing them under his control. I remember one scene in particular where a Wen dire owl was shot down and it ended up being one of these kidnapped/enslaved shapeshifters. I think the poison was some kind of dust that had to be inhaled? Thank you for your help! @gloriousclotpole

FOUND! 🔒 Unstoppable by Netrixie (T, 150k, WangXian, LXC & WWX, Canon Divergence, Eventual Happy Ending, Unreliable Narrator, Slow Burn, Minor Original Character(s), Cloud Recesses, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon-Typical Angst, Wolf-shifter WWX, Resolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, Fix-It, Werewolf, Shapeshifters, Sunshot Campaign, Translation Available, Russian, Canonical Lan arm strength)

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19. Hi. I am looking for a fic where Baoshan Sanren knows about Wei Wuxian’s fate. She can’t interfere directly so she trains Mo Xuanyu as a cultivator. Mo Xuanyu joins the jin sect and has a good relationship with Madam Jin helping protect jin Ling. He leaves the sect and the cultivation world to write the ministry exams for the imperial family. But he is assassinated before he can write the exams. Instead, Wei Wuxian, who wakes up in Mo Xuanyu’s body writes the exams and rises high. Soon enough, he catches the eye of the emperor because his genius and tendency to modify talisman. The emperor then finds out what happened in the cultivation world and gives them an eye opener. Mo Xuanyu’s ghost also appears and reveals Baoshan Sanren’s plan and his agreement to go along with it. Lan Zhan, then finds out that Mo Xuanyu is Wei Wuxian, leaves the sect to go live with him on his lands outside the cultivation world. @darkshadowgrief

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20. I'm looking for a fic where Wei Ying babysits A-yuan for Lan Zhan? I think it was Modern AU but that's all i can remember maybe he taught him art?

I'm number 20 in the recent fic finder and I don't think paint smears is the one I'm looking for, not sure about the other since it's been deleted but I remember Wei Ying actually babysits A-yuan in his house or at least teaches him art at his house in his play room? And lan zhan is still at the house he just lets them be I think. I remember them learning about colors or painting something and also that lan zhan wanted to offer Wei Ying a permanent job as A-yuan's private art teacher and offered more than his regular job.

FOUND? Light travels faster than sound by Anonymous (E, 25k, wangxian) wwx is an artist commissioned to make musician!lwj's album cover, than to give a-yuan art lessons), but I think the author deleted their works?

NOT FOUND! 🧡 paint smears on sunny days by SnowshadowAO3 (E, 53k, WangXian, Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Everyone Is Alive, Modern AU, Dadji, Mutual Pining, Happy Ending, Brief Alcohol Mention, Masturbation, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Accidentally co-parenting with your son's art teacher, Fatherhood)

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[tavina-writes]

Sorry may I ask you a question? Your meta is so interesting! In mdzs "debts" is a recurring theme and can you please explain it? I've read meta about how in Chinese culture jc's owed the wen siblings a debt and he should have saved them, but I've also read meta about how he owed a hugger debt to his own sect. I've read how jgy killed whr and nmj, people who he owned his educations (debts). I thought that mdzs was more about "Who is wrong? Who is right?" so that everyone is a bit wrong and a bit right but this kind of meta make me doubt myself and think that maybe in mdzs someone is really morally right (wwx and lwj) and everyone else is wrong. I am going a little crazy, that's why I asked you. Anyway, thanks in advance and have a good day!

Hi Nonny!

There's no need to apologize for sending an ask! I love asks!

Regarding your question about debts and what is "owed" in relationships, I think it's important to clarify that like, presumably if someone saved your life you'd also owe them a debt of gratitude, a life debt, or however and whichever other 'debt' terminology you'd care to use there. So this concept of "debt" because you owe someone for doing something for you is not in and of itself a 'unique to Chinese culture' problem, and I think looking at "oh this person "owes" this other person a thing" is not entirely a great? way to analyze how character relationships "should" or should not go. There are lots of ways we as people in a society owe other people in our society and the characters in this book, much like us, are trapped in a confluence of factors that pull them in different directions regarding what they should or should not do.

The book itself (at least from my own opinion) is meant to read as "everyone is both right and wrong at various points in this text because this is a book with complex characters and not a morality lesson" because lest we forget, WWX made a woman eat a chair leg at one point, which. We cannot say this was correct in really anything except the most reductive main character centric interpretation.

Regarding debts themselves that say, WangXian might owe their families in accordance to their society that sound just about the same as the examples mentioned above, we can say things like "since Wei Wuxian was raised by the Jiang, he should've been helping Jiang Cheng rebuilding Lotus Pier instead of sitting around drinking or running off with the Wen!" or "how dare Lan Wangji injure thirty-three of his family elders, doesn't he know he should've been filial to them and owed his education and position in society to the Lan Sect?" and "why is it that WangXian got to go fuck in a bush at the end of the story when other people who arguably did fewer crimes end up dead? Does this mean they owed less to society or made all the right choices compared to say, the other people who are still in fact super dead and don't get to fuck their beloved in a bush?"

Does this start to look like this concept of "debts" doesn't,,, actually explain anything about the moral complexities of the character's situations? That's because it isn't a good indicator of if character x made a moral choice or not.

But again, this whole concept of "debts" to explain why a character does a thing and why they're morally good or evil and reprehensible for not doing this other thing is entirely a thing fandom does in meta to make their fave look good or character they're an anti about look extremely bad under a case of "well ACKSHUALLY morality says they SHOULD HAVE done this!" None of these characters exist either as Perfectly Moral Beings or Perfectly Evil Immoral Beings inside a decision making vacuum.

It...also doesn't really matter if your fave is right or wrong either :D just for context. They're all fictional blorbos upon a page and or screen. No real person was harmed in over the course of the story. No woman deep throated a chair leg, no child was tossed down the stairs, no groups of people were massacred, no brothers were abandoned, no one was poisoned with rage disease until they died, nobody committed incest... etc etc and honestly debating about if fictional characters were right or wrong fascinates me a lot less than "what does the story tell us about what drove them and made them tick?" and "what adaptational and translational choices did other people before me make about this story and do I agree with them on their adaptational choices."

:( sorry this came out so messy anon! I just don't think the "did this character repay their debts -> is this character a good person -> a morally good character therefore doesn't owe anyone anything anymore and if they do owe someone something that doesn't count/no they don't." pipeline is particularly useful from an analyzing the story standpoint.

[staticcryptic]

a night in texas > on my ao3 | words: 2k+ | teen & up

prompts: cheap dollar store cologne, cigarette smoke, only one bed (1&2 on list)

summary: in the midst of a long hunt to rescue jc and nicole, kelly has to share a motel room with erik for a night, things ensue

tags: erik/kelly, background case ?, swearing, only one bed, eventual relationship, background nicole/jc, background rethu/cyrus, hurt/comfort

The second Kelly and Erik step inside, Kelly’s face scrunches up in disgust. It reeks of cheap dollar store cologne and stale cigarettes in here. Sighing, Kelly puts her bag on the floor and lets Erik lock the door behind them.

One bed. Of fucking course.

Being on a three week long mission to rescue JC and Nicole wasn’t bad enough, now Kelly is saddled with sharing a bed with Erik, of all people. She knows something happened a few months back and Bob had almost completely fired him and was maybe going to get him arrested, the details aren’t really there, Kelly just knows she’d rather deal with Cyrus and Rethu acting all couple-ly around her than this.

“You care if I take first shower?” She gives a dismissive hand wave to Erik and hears how he rummages around his duffle bag before heading towards the probably mildew infested bathroom to shower the days work away.

They drove for the entirety of the day, left around four am actually, and have just made it to Texas. The humid heat alone has made Kelly wish she was anywhere else but knowing JC might be getting hurt at this very mom-. She shakes her head. They’ve been working at this non-stop, she needs to rest.

Quickly, Kelly slips out of her jeans and t-shirt for a more comfortable pair of sleep shorts and a tank top before Erik gets out of the bathroom and sees her changing. She might show herself off as work but that doesn’t mean she needs him looking at her that way, especially not now. The shorts and tank top allow more air flow on her overheated skin which is nice and less constricting to move in when she goes to flick the old ass AC unit on.

“Stupid thing.” She mutters to herself as it spews out a loud noise of not-working-anytime-soon she hates to hear. A groan escapes Kelly’s lips as she drops her head to the wall and tries to calm herself.

Cyrus already blew up at Erik earlier today at one of their gas station stops, over something Kelly’s brain can’t even remember at this point, she just knows Erik didn’t really deserve it. He thankfully took it stone faced and calm before he told Cyrus to get a fucking pack of gummy bears to “get some sugar in his system” or something. They’ve all been on edge, it’s not lack of sugar.

The distant sound of Erik cursing breaks Kelly’s thoughts and she lifts her head off the faded wallpaper and turns to stare at the bathroom door. It opens too angrily and Erik stomps out, clad in only a towel around his waist, hair and body sopping wet.

“You okay?” Before she can get a reply- Erik has one of the motel bed pillows in hand and shoves his face into the dated design on the case before screaming. People in the next room definitely heard that- Bob and Husnyia, Kelly remembers them checking into 107 right next to her and Erik’s 106 room. She hopes they don’t come over here and ask what’s wrong.

“Guess not.” She mumbles more to herself than anyone but still watches Erik drop the pillow, his cheeks flushing red in embarrassment and his eyes flicking to Kelly’s before dropping to the floor just as quick.

“Sorry. There’s no hot water. I just wanted to shower.” He plops onto the bed and pushes his still dripping hair off his forehead.

“It’s like ninety degrees in here, why don’t you take a cold shower?” Erik’s back twitches as Kelly gets closer, sitting on the end of the bed so she’s not directly next to him.

“I like the heat. Demon and whatever.” His hand motions uselessly in the air and Kelly pretends to know that was a thing. Do demons really like heat that much? That feels like the most stereotypical thing she’s ever heard.

“But you’re only like a fourth demon.” Daggers get shot Kelly’s way and she winces. She didn’t mean to say it like that.

“I just- I mean- I thought maybe that skipped you.” It’s not a graceful save but Erik shakes his head, water flying to hit the side of Kelly’s arm in a welcomed coolness to her hot skin.

“Nah. I got all the bad stuff that comes with being a demon, none of the cool shit.” Without thinking- Kelly reaches and pushes some of Erik’s grown out hair away from his horns so they peak out.

“Your horns are cool.” And if she’s honest with herself, she’s always liked how his hair curls a bit the longer it gets.

She remembers when JC and him were friends before JC got sober and Erik would sneak into their bedroom after a fight with his parents- Kelly was never supposed to go in JC’s room but the few times she’d sneak in there grab something, Erik was usually there too. He was cute back then, annoying, but cute in that scraggly-bad-boy way. And his hair was never put together so Kelly got to see how curly it really got as the months without a haircut went on.

“You might be the only one who thinks that.” She pulls her hand away like it’s been burned, realizing she’s had it there for far too long.

“JC would agree with me.” And then, suddenly, like the weight of what they’re doing in this motel room hits the both of them again in one swoop: Erik looks at Kelly with a frown and she feels her chest go tight.

“Hey, we’ll get them back, both of them.” He reaches a hand to Kelly’s shoulder with a reassuring squeeze.

“Yeah…” Kelly hates herself for thinking this, but she almost forgot Nicole was missing too.

She’s been so consumed with losing her sibling that she hasn’t been thinking about what Nicole is going through right now. The thought makes guilt eat at her - her and Nicole are friends, not best of friends but still, they go shopping together and send memes back and forth, and Nicole… Nicole loves JC so much. JC loves her so much. They have something Kelly has never got to experience herself and she isn’t sure she ever will- she shouldn’t be brushing their bond to the side.

“I’ll go put some shorts on and we can go to bed, get away from our thoughts for a bit.” Erik gives one last squeeze to Kelly’s shoulder, giving her a knowing look as if he was thinking the exact same thing as her, and gets up to trudge back into the bathroom.

For the millionth time today, Kelly reminds herself not to get sucked into her mind and instead gets up to check the bed for bed bugs or whatever those news articles say to do when you get to a hotel room. She just needs to distract herself.

-

“Lights on or off?” She’s leaned over about to flip the only light still on in the room off- it’s a dim, yellow tinted, bulb that she wouldn’t mind sleeping with on and she distantly remembers JC always having the Tv playing or some light on those times Erik would stay over.

“On, if you don’t mind.” It’s left on and Kelly settles against the mattress.

Her and Erik are as far apart as two people can get in a bed this tiny and the scratchy comforter is pulled up over Kelly while Erik is on top of it on his side. There’s a throw blanket in the back of Husnyia’s mini van that Kelly was tempted to grab but didn’t want to risk waking Bob for the keys to the car. They’re in a shit ass town in the deep south so she doubts Bob would ever leave the car unlocked.

“You have to close your eyes to sleep.” Erik mutters and Kelly instinctively rolls her eyes- he somehow gets on her nerves more than JC ever has or even their older brother, which says something.

“I’m getting there.” No she’s not. She doesn’t think anyone’s slept good in the three weeks since JC and Nicole first didn’t show up to their respected shifts. The most anyone’s gotten is during their seemingly never ending periods in the car when someone will fall asleep against a window if they’re lucky.

“I know it’s hard but I think we’re on driving duty tomorrow so at least try.” Ugh fuck, he’s right. They’re going to have to switch off all day until they reach the next milestone farther into Texas where JC and Nicole should be. It’s some bad guy from Bob’s past that’s taken them, lord knows what he’s doing in Texas now.

“I can’t sleep knowing JC is probably being strung up and tortured right now.” Fairy’s can be ruthless if they want to be from the little Kelly actually knows about them.

“You can’t think like that, for all we know they’re just locked in a room being left alone.” Erik shifts and stretches an arm above Kelly’s head to rest behind her pillow, fingers tapping against the mattress in a way that Kelly would be able to hear loud and clear if she turned her head to the side.

“Your tapping will keep me awake.” He stills but looks unimpressed by her changing the subject.

“I’ll stop. Just get some sleep.” The dusty alarm clock on the nightstand blinks bright red at her: 1:23 am. They should both sleep, she knows logically it’ll end badly if they don’t and try to drive for hours tomorrow.

They lay in silence for a few moments before Kelly groans and turns to be facing Erik, he’s got his free hand tucked under his head and is staring at the ceiling while the other arm is still flat above her pillow. It’s too damn quiet in here. She huffs again and all Erik does is sniff a little.

“Go back to tapping.” Nothing else happens but he listens and Kelly tries to focus on the tap-tap-tap of Erik’s fingers on the mattress echoing through her ear as she lays on the paper thin motel pillow. God it really does smell like cheap cologne in here.

-

Kelly isn’t sure how much time passes and she refuses to look but neither of them have fallen asleep. Erik is still tapping, Kelly is staring at him like that’ll lull her to sleep, and Erik hasn’t torn his eyes off the popcorn ceiling. Kelly’s about ready to start screaming.

“We should’ve just kept driving and taken over for Bob and Husniya.” She finally breaks the tension and Erik turns his head to look at her.

“The others were exhausted, we’ve been in the car all day.” Rethu and Cyrus were starting to get particularly stir crazy in that car and Bob might’ve actually taken her sword out if they got cut off one more time- but Kelly would rather being doing something than just lying here. It feels useless.

“Then we should’ve taken more than one car.” Erik quirks a brow.

“You were the one who insisted on sticking together.” A loud frustrated groan escapes Kelly and she shifts a bit before trying to bury her face in the mattress- she ends up with her forehead on Erik’s bicep. And when did they get this close?

“Don’t remind me of my own dumb decisions.” He snorts and suddenly curls his arm up so her head is covered by him before she’s pulled up closer, head finding his bare pec easily, absolutely no resistance from Kelly. If this night is going to feel like it lasts three years then she might as well be comfortable for it and Erik is much more comfortable as a pillow than the actual motels pillow.

“Just focus on my heartbeat, it’ll help you sleep.” It sounds stupid but she does her best to listen anyway. Just to speed this night along.

To her shock, it starts to work. Erik wraps her up tight in his hold and the steady thrum of his heartbeat lets the thoughts drift away from Kelly’s mind before she’s pulled into sleep.

She makes a mental note to not talk about this in the morning.

[llycaons]

Jiang Yanli is kind of a sister- enough of a sister. Now, give A-Xian an ACTUAL sister. And a baby cousin A-Yu, as a treat.

case in point this is so wrong on so many levels I don't even know where to start. how the fuck can you disregard jyl and wwx's extremely close SIBLING relationship that jyl herself asserted multiple times in DEFIANCE of nearly every adult and authority figure in their lives telling them that they're not actually family and that wwx is a low-class ruffian who she shouldn't be seen with. I hate this

((P.S)) No jyl hate!!! We love her here!! But with them being strictly referred to as "martial siblings" shit gets kind of weird. Okay, I really just mean it makes their relationship strained, but you get what I mean. But now Xianxian has a sister he can call "Jiejie"!!! And also, jc has a shijie that doesn't tolerate him having a stick up his ass all the time.

no it doesn't! it doesn't get weird! other people thinking they're being inappropriate are in the wrong because they don't understand wwx and jyl's familial relationship! yeah it's sad that wwx never felt comfortable with claiming jyl as his jiejie and their dynamic is a bit strained bc of that but the solution to that is NOT 'ditch jyl and give wwx a different ~real~ blood sister' because adopted siblings aren't legitimate enough I guess. way to miss the point. also what does that last line mean...jyl was very kind to jc when almost nobody else was...jc has a lot of issues but this just seems cruel when jyl was one of the only people to unconditionally love him

anyway if you want a fixit to the issue of wwx not having a ~real~ sister you can just write jyl publicly claiming wwx as her didi (AGAIN bc she literally already did this CANONICALLY) and build up the situation and character development on wwx's end so that he's comfortable claiming her right back as his sister. AND CALL HER JIEJIE!!!! just off the top of my head. again I hate this

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

Lol jc stans: if you want to talk about his negative traits we can talk about his positive traits in the canon tag.

Like there's nothing wrong with that? Talk about all the canon positive stuff about him? Its real funny for them to say that when majority of stans have been making up weirdest fanons in the 'reclaiming it for beloved jiujiu' moment, including straight up denying jc hitting jl, or if he hit jl 'thats just typical asian discipling!' (Yikes), or excusing wen remnants murder 'because jc was grieving' or that jc raised jl, talking about headcanons in canon tag intentionally and then straight up attacking people over talking about canon, (typical jc stan behaviour) is what people have an issue over, after harassing fans out of main tag now all this bs in the canon tag when stans refer to edited donghua and manghua changes as canon (and that stuff isnt even adaptation supported, like in cql jc did stab until wwx let go, falling off the cliff but best bro jc fanons are more common from that side) and all the xicheng fanart/talk of mingchen or whoever the hell they can find to ship with the homophobe (but how dare you call him one when he's one!) is 'just the poor jc stans interpretation of canon who the evil antis harass by asking for source'

I encourage this. Yes please bring up how he had good intentions as a child when he said he'd protect Wei Wuxian from dogs. Bring up how he felt empathy and tried to stop Madam Yu from a whipping that was worse than they both had to witness before. Yes bring up how his first intentional reaction when he saw that Wei Wuxian would be caught was to distract the Wen soldiers with himself.

He had underlying good intentions at first. I certainly have never denied that in his own capacity he loves and does care about others, all people do. The matter is the conditions that he started to see that love as worthy of providing. It is and was a transactional love from the start of their friendship. Might not have been the intent at all, but that was how it morphed and was expected to be given as they grew older.

Relationships can't grow or be good for another when they are built on "If you do this for me I will do this back". It's already placing a denotation of what you are worth emotionally. And once you start building up a list of resentments against another person, that worth has already begun to shift less in favor of equality and share of burdens. My burdens take precedence over the suffering of others, because my suffering and pain matter more in the long run. This view enforces a lack of empathy and kindness and begets further cruelty and apathy.

So yes, bring up his good, but also remember that good is used to remind everyone t how Jiang Cheng would not have ever done this if he knew what it entailed and immediately regrets extending his kindness to Wei Wuxian because the benefit didn't outweigh the suffering for him.

You do not say he suffered so much and deride others for accepting that without asking for more or, having known in the first place. Grace requires being humble and saying no more than needed to exchange care. Jiang Cheng doesn't know how to do this as he views kindness given to him as pity or looking down on him.